A labored breath in, a shuddered breath out,
I struggle to see through the darkness.
Whispering voices, mournful tones,
All talking about me…I am here.
Stray comments waft past my consciousness –
“…such a great mom…kids will miss her…always there…”
Am I supposed to be proud? I am angry.
I was so much more – but no-one saw, or cared.
A childhood lived, but not experienced,
My passions deemed unsafe; improper; unwise.
Afraid I’d get hurt; afraid I’d choose wrong.
All was chosen for me.
Others’ expectations, so confining,
A spirit straightjacketed by good intentions.
I took those lessons into the world
Where they continued to shackle me.
I can’t travel the world, I need to work.
I can’t quit my job, we need my check.
I can’t start a business, we need my benefits.
No time, never time, for me.
Now it’s too late, no time left to be me.
No accomplishments of my own.
No obituary for me, there is nothing to say.
Nobody knew the real me.
The darkness spreads, the voices fade.
I try to speak, one last chance to be heard.
For someone to know who I am, who I was.
I was here – Why did no-one see me?
I was here…