Story parameters – political satire, a military parade, and a battery.

 

One Nation Under Trump

“Hello everyone, and welcome to the first national Trump Military Parade, brought to you by US-Arabia Oil. I’m your host, Lou Dobbs, and I’d just like to thank President Trump for making this great day possible for us all.  Sitting in the booth with me today is our very own Second First Lady, Tomi Trump. Tomi, it’s an honor to have you here.”

“Thanks, Lou. I’m so happy to be here supporting my husband and our president, Donald Trump, in the very first military parade to honor our brave soldiers since we passed the Trans Ban.”

“What’s going to be interesting about this parade, Tomi, is the way they are celebrating both our hugely over-budgeted military and all the improvements to America that the President’s made since he ratified the 28th Amendment making himself president for life. I really like America’s new slogan: “One President, His Country.”

“Me, too. Get it? ‘Me too’….ah, I’m hilarious. Thank God that was outlawed. But seriously, Lou, this new slogan sends a message to the world that America is stronger than ever.”

“Right you are, Tomi. Well, looks like the parade has started, and passing the booth now is the NRA float, followed by the 1st Trump Infantry. I really like the new gold insignias on the uniforms.”

“My idea, of course, Lou. The company that produces my Freedom athletic wear line, available online at alexoathletica.com, designed them.”

“Are they made in America?”

“No, China. But with all the tariff money we’re charging them, the Chinese are really paying for it, so we’re still supporting America.”

“We certainly are. All hail our Supreme Deal-Maker. Well, that float is spectacular…a giant AR-15, with a banner that says “Come and Take It, Libtards.” That’s a beautiful sight.”

“All a joke, of course. Now that the Democratic Party’s been designated a terrorist organization, they won’t be taking anything. The Senate swamp has been swept clean.”

“And not a moment too soon. The President is a wise and strong leader. The infantry is almost past us now…why the big gap before the next float?”

“That’s where the F-22 Stealth fighter was going to be. Donald really wanted an F-22 in the parade, but he still thinks they’re invisible, so we thought we’d save some money by just leaving a big empty space and telling him it’s there.”

“That sounds like a responsible budgeting decision, and doesn’t reflect poorly on the president one iota. Will we be seeing any of the President’s children today?”

“No. Don Jr. and Eric are in Africa hunting the last living elephant – that trophy will be worth a fortune. And Ivanka is still in Bangladesh touring her newest sweatshop. Merchandise available at IvankaSilks.com.”

“What about Tiffany, and Melania’s son?”

“Who?”

“Oh look, here comes the 305th ICE Regiment from Texas. I wasn’t sure any of them would make it, what with the National Emergency at the border. They need every man.”

“They were flown in on Air Trump 1 just for the day, Lou. They’re going back tonight; their work protecting our country from terrorized women and orphaned toddlers is so important. Imagine what our country would be like without them. I feel so much safer these days I only carry two guns now when I leave the Trump House. And they fit perfectly in the yoga holster I designed; $34.99 on my website.”

“We can thank President Trump for that. Permanently closing our borders was a brave decision by a gutsy guy. Obama wouldn’t have had the balls. Do I see a float behind them?”

“I think this is my favorite, Lou. Stephen Miller had the great idea to make all ICE cages mobile, so now we can move illegal immigrants around without actually letting them out. It saves so much time and money, and again, safer for everyone.”

“Sensible plan, Tomi. Who’s this coming now? Oh, it’s Kellyanne Conway, leading the White Nationalist Guard in a tank. Whatever happened to her husband?”

“He fled to California with Bernie Sanders and the rest of the Godless bleeding heart Democrat snowflakes, of course. Good luck running that country, Bernie.”

“I’m with you, Tomi. How do you live in a country without guns? They’ll never survive.”

“Oh, this is exciting, Lou. Here come the guests of honor – soldiers from Russia’s 200th Motor Rifle Brigade. Aren’t they impressive?”

“They look very intimidating. It was nice of President Putin to take the time to join us on his way to Texas.”

“Donald told me their permanent base at El Paso is almost finished.  I can’t tell you how exciting it’s been to witness history being made as America and Russia form the first co-country coalition.”

“And I, for one, am really looking forward to learning Russian. At least it’s not Spanish, eh Tomi? Thank Trump that was outlawed.”

“That’s right Lou – no more third world languages in this country. Which reminds me, look at this new gadget Donald gave me – it’s a prototype for a new illegals catcher. You just insert this battery…like so…and turn it on. Since Americans are all microchipped, anyone here illegally will set the alarm off when they walk past you.”

“That is a handy little device, and not a human rights violation at all. Well, it looks like the parade is wrapping up. Not a long one, but of course we have to give everyone celebrating our freedom time to get home before curfew. Tomi, I’d like to thank you for sharing parade duty with me, and I’m sure every American joins me in wishing you all the best managing the President’s continued mental deterioration .”

“Thank you, Lou. I’ll make sure he gets a good night’s rest, after he’s finished tweeting this week’s insults at Alyssa Milano.”

One 4-week internship short of a Journalism diploma (College of the North Atlantic, NL). Freelance writer/photographer specializing in travel and lifestyle assignments. 8th Place Winner in the 15th Annual Writer's Digest Short Short Story Competition; 4th Place in Writer's Digest Writing Competition, Magazine Article Division.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

skpfoto

Project Photography

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: