10 Reasons why growing up sucks

Today was the last day of school and, as always, I was totally bummed and more than a little resentful.  There is nothing worse than going to work on the first day that your little darlins get to sleep in, go nowhere and do nothing.  Why were we all in such a hurry to grow up anyway?  We had it made, and we threw it away with both hands.  Just look at what happened to us. 



Lay on lawn for entire afternoon looking at clouds

Spend entire afternoon mowing lawn, cleaning up grass and inhaling clouds of gas fumes; never notice clouds

Climb trees and admire the view

Have trees cut down because they are blocking the view

Summers off to play with friends

Summers spent breathing canned air in isolating cubicles; what friends?

Run through sprinklers

Tell kids to get the hell out of the sprinkler, you’re gonna wreck the lawn/get your clothes wet/fall down.

Can’t wait to start dating

Can’t wait to stop dating

Looking forward to being old enough for their first job

Looking forward to being old enough to quit their current job

Get dirty


Avoid getting dirty and use enough antibacterial soap to eventually bring about the demise of the human race

Run for fun

Run for the bus. Or train.  Or jog early morning/after dinner because you’re terrified of growing old, losing your health and not being able to run

Invite friends for weekend sleepovers and stay up all night

Invite everyone, including spouse, to leave the house for the weekend so you can sleep

Love dressing themselves; think everything makes them look awesome

Hate dressing ourselves; think everything makes us look fat

 So when your kids start to complain that they’re bored (which will likely be tomorrow around 11:00 a.m.), show them this list.  Or better yet, hand them the lawnmower and then go run through the sprinkler.  In your business suit.

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